So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
