so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
