when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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