The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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