So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
