there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
