shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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