dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
