I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
