The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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