I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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