never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
