you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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