Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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