You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
