I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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