Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
