yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
