She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
