saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
