i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
