Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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