you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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