Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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