and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
