Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my being single is dangerous.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
