so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
