Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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