There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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