You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
