Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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