4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
