I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
