you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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