my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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