remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
