so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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