I hate your face
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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