i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
