bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
