I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
