You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
