Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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