My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Of course I have a pirate flag
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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