I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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