It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
