dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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