she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
