i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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