i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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